Currently Watching Neon Genesis Evangelion - Collection 0-2 see related

hey yalls... sorry didn't update again 4 so long.... a lot has happened since i moved from japan all the way to tennessee...well, first of all, i start skool next monday!!!! and the dress code requires to wear a collar shirt...tucked in... god i think the skool is crazy..i got all my classes.... my dad's making me take honors english 2, and honors algebra 2.... its gonna be crazy.. .but at least there are only 4 classes per semester.... that's a good thing...i get to take all these kool classes... i'm taking legal and protected services, where u learn about law and all that stuff... i think i'll like it...

So yeh.... this whole week, i was at soccer camp..yeh, first thing i did when i got here was to play soccer... it was fun, i made sum new friends ((which they're mainly juniors)), like kristina, amanda, and ina...they're really kewl... which reminds me...

I MISS U MANDY, TANIA, MARIE, PATTI, CHRIS, JAMES, DON, AND ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! i haven't talked to yall for so long... i really do miss u....

well yeah, i g2g pretty much now... but i'll make sure to update here alot, but don't expect too much, cause i start soccer season right when skool starts....ok, well, i'll talk to yall l8er, b~~ye!!!!

sorry, kinda lost it on the last one.. but it is all true... i was hiding my feelings, but i kinda started thinking bout telling them when i heard that choir song at the senior graduation... maybe that's when tania kinda saw me weeping... all those things were runnin through my head, causing me sadness and pain in leaving... then i got bored and decided to read tania's xanga, then that's what triggered me to write my feelings... thank you tania again. u always are the one that helps me make my choices... i seriously wouldn't noe wat i'd do witout u... and tania, bout ur entry... ne feeling for don, as u noe, so don't worry bout that case... i was just tearing bout the whole moving thing.. and u r not just my friend, u are still and will forever be my best friend... and trust me, don't think i'm not jealous of you... you have things i don't... there are so many things bout you that makes me envy you... how you can get so many friends, compared to me... how ur good at everything u try that i noe of... there are a lot of stuff... so that kinda evens things out for both of us... and i think that's perfectly fine..and i wanna be able to hear ur problems, stress... i just wanna be able to be ur support again, and help you as much as i can be4 i leave... is that possible?

And chris m. you noe wat i'm gonna say to you.... hope ur satisfied with me finally speaking out... i noe half my prob. comes from mom, but i really did get pissed bout the fact that u and matt wrote it on paper... do you hav n e idea how damaged i was??? u don't noe do u? well, u probably hav an idea...AND MATT!!! my god, u are a good friend and all, but u suddenly changed!!! i can't stand it!! u won't talk to me like u used to... i don't noe wat to say to u n e more... that's u think i'm all quiet, following round, etc... well... don't just blame it on me, and look at urself too!! in my opinion, u r being a bitch to me... and i still will continue to see u as a friend, but trust me, i wonder now y i even ever liked u in 8th grade.. i feel like an idiot...

Well, sorry for all the commotion... let all my stress out... ((again))... if u don't understand a single thing i talk bout here, well, i suggest you leave it that way for your own sake.... thank you

Now i feel all clear... can i be more accepted now guyz? can we try to get back the way we used to be? can i help you with ur problems in any way???

Heyz, sorry i haven't updated ((again)) but reading a lot of other ppl's entries made me wanna write sum stuff... a lot has gone on this year.... i had sum fun...i really don't wanna move @ all... i wanna stay, so many things i wanted to say and do... but i think i can say it here....

First of all... i need to apologize a lot of things... first to my bestest friend tania. After all that happened, to tell u the truth, i didn't noe wat to do... i just think to myself "y was i not there to be ur support when it happened? y do i have to do things at the wrong timing? Everyone has a part of the blame to take here, but i really didn't want you to feel like it was all ur fault, cause it isn't.... i still wanted to talk to you and be ur friend and all, but i couldn't find the words to say to you... cause i knew the wrong words would hurt ur feelings, and that's the last thing i want.... i apologize if it seemed like i was treating you differently.. i just couldn't find the words... i'm really sorry.... then i just couldn't stand how u were acting... i knew wat you were thinking.. and i found out how useless i was in such important cases, cause i can't do n e thing in such important times....i want to continue our friendship, and make it better than it is now.... back to just like last year.. all the fun times... i've known u too long to be able to say goodbye now... i probably can't even if i had to... i always was envyous of you... you had the things i didn't... when i was wit you... but i felt like i belonged sumwhere when i was wit you... and i thank you very much for that....

Now to all of u guyz (gamerz)- i'm sorry of how i've been.... i just hav this thing where i just can't trust ppl very easily... i just hav this thing... i've been betrayed so many countless times in my elementary years that i didn't wanna trust ppl, and all i needed was one good friend ((tania)).... but then i met all of u.... all of u are trustful, and i consider you all being my bestest guy friends... i may not have shown it, but i do... I used to have this thought: "i'd rather be alone and be emotionless than to have friends and get hurt feelings...." but you all changed that.... i just want u to noe that... u all have a very important in my life, cause if it weren't 4 u, who noes, i might hav been brandon's friend!! I just wanna thank u all, and apologize for all i've done that was wrong... chris and matt, the time i got that paper with my bad things shown, i made it look like it was funny, but i actually wasn't. I went home, and i cried to myself, knowing what was making me so much of a bitch. since then, i was afraid to talk to u all, noeing bout how both of u feel bout me.... i couldn't open up.... it seemed like it didn't it? Well, u noe i'm good hiding things... so yeh..... then how you all were... i felt left out... i only had marie..after chris got grounded and couldn't come out friday nights.... none of u came... i only had marie.... amanda was gone, tania been gone... its not like its n e of the gurl's fault... its just.... all u guys seem have excluded me because i was a gurl or sumthing.... well, enough of that... i feel kinda better now.... i really can't do n e thing about it now, cause i'm moving..... well.....i just wanted to be able to be more socialable wit u all...

Amanda, Marie, and Patti: I thank u all for always being with me... listning to my complaints, hearing me out.... i don't noe wat i could've done witout u all... even though u moved patti, u were wat kept me sane watever happened. Marie, we only knew eachother for a few months, but those few months were some really good ones, and will always be treasured in me. amanda, i thank you for being with me, even though i know you like it wit jojo, ray, krystle, etc... I couldn't have tolerated brandon, and sum ppl we noe if you weren't there to hear me... It was thanks to all of you i was able to keep sane and from trying to killin myself ((again))...I'll miss all of u after i move.. but i will always keep in touch wit u...

And to all of u together, thank u for keeping my sanity, and giving me a social life... i probably would have been a loner if it weren't for you... i'll always remember you in my hearts, and plz be my friends at least until i'm gone.... if possible, plz be my friend 4ever...

NOW CHRIS, YOU HAPPY THAT I SPOKE OUT MY THOUGHTS??? SATIFIED??? for those who read this, if you know sum ppl that i mention that won't read it, tell them about it or tell them to read it plz....

Currently Playing Grammy Nominees 2003 By Various Artists see related

Hey pplz, wuzzup? I'm not doin too bad... sorry i haven't updated again... grr... well n e way, it was tyte!!! on sunday, me, mandy, yamid, and marina went to veenawalk and watched the onepiece movie!! it was tyte!! i thought the original characters were kewl.... o yeh, and we took a sticker pic. while we were there, and they had this tyte thing where u can sent the pics to ur cell, and marina sent it to my account.. i'll put it as my public pic.... so check it out... its tyte... well yeh, not much during the week... boring.. tireing... etc.... o well, i'll talk to ya l8er ok? bye~bye!!

Currently Watching RahXephon - Harmonic Convergence (Vol. 3) see related

Hey yall!!! Wuzzup? me sorry that i haven't updated in awhile... kinda busy, kept on gettin kicked off alot... u noe, lots of stuff going on... so yeh.....my computer's really slow l8ly...*sigh*....

so yeh, i'm kinda lazy, tired, since i joined soccer, and practice is kinda wearing me out...i'm too lazy and tired to type right now... o yeh, before i go, i changed my mp3 around a little, so yeh, i'll update again l8er...